I am not a morning person
but here's how I get close
I hate mornings. I am Garfield and every morning is my Monday.
I’ve never been a morning person either. As a kid, my Dad would come in at 7am and open my curtains because otherwise there was no way that I would get out of bed in time.
When I was in high school, my brother’s showers were all of a sudden thirty minutes and I had to get in before him if I wanted to do anything.
I’ve had boyfriends who would get up early for work every day to which I would sleep all the way through. Only waking up to wonder why he hadn’t said goodbye (spoiler alert: he had, I just slept through it).
I now live with three of my closest friends, only one of us is an early bird and the amount he gets done before the rest of us wake up will always amaze me. I’m talking up with the sun, 6:15 in the morning, vacuuming done, breakfast had, out the door to work before any of our alarms have even thought about the possibility of blasting the dreaded alarm.
I’m a believer that we need night owls just as much as we need early birds. Yet, the western society we have fabricated was built with the rising sun while the moon watched, unable to fight, as her warriors were fast asleep, trusting the early risers to keep them safe. Instead, they judged and tormented us for waking up, god forbid, after nine and then ridiculed us for staying up past ten. I’m sorry, I don’t want the stars to be lonely, I would like to hear the stories they tell.
You’re loading the dishwasher after breakfast and I’m taking the trash out after dinner, we’re not actually that different.
From the influence of my flatmates who have, for some reason, been trying to better themselves into the idea that the early bird gets the worm and through nothing but peer pressure and osmosis, I’ve decided that maybe mornings aren’t the evil overlord that I make them out to be.
Don’t get me wrong I’m not getting up at 6am to do a workout and meal prep. I’m just…getting up. It’s been an adjustment to say the least, but certain rules that I have set for myself have helped and I hate to admit most of them are the things people tell us to do anyway.
1. Go to sleep earlier
My normal nighttime routine carries across about four hours depending on how long my flatmates take in the bathroom and how long we stay up chatting. I’m last on the pecking order for nightly routine in the bathroom and often won’t get there until about 11-11:30. This whole ordeal starts between 8-9.
I only changed two things in regard to the night routine and now I’m going to sleep one to two hours earlier than before. Cut down on the staying up chatting and no more doom scrolling TikTok/reels while waiting for the bathroom. My nighttime routine is so much shorter than everyone else’s that sneaking in between flatmate two and three meant I was able to be in and out before he’s even realised it’s free. Reading Substack instead of scrolling TikTok has also helping I will admit.
2. Don’t set a million alarms
No more fourth, fifth, or sixth chances, we’re getting up at the first or second alarm because that’s all we’ve got.
I use an apple watch as my alarm, the vibrations don’t scare me awake or ring through my entire room to wake up the rest of the house like my phone’s alarm. They’re just enough to trick myself into thinking I’m waking up on my own.
If you are a sound alarm person, don’t pick something terrifying, please, be nice to yourself in the morning.
Two alarms are all you need, one to wake you up, the other to tell you to get off your phone and out of bed. I’m not telling you that you can’t have phone time in the morning, but give yourself a limit.
3. Stay hydrated
There’s nothing worse as waking up in the middle of night feeling like you’re in the middle of a desert and haven’t touched water in five years. On the other hand, there’s no feeling quite as euphoric as gulping your entire water bottle in a matter of seconds at 2am because holy shit were you thirsty. But a broken sleep is no fun and waking up in the morning either busting or so thirsty you’ve got a killer headache is not the live laugh love lifestyle we’re looking for.
This one is fully influenced by my flatmate and his attempt to make sure all of his sims were no longer vitamin deficient and dehydrated (thanks dad). We all know the Berocca ad, someone getting out of bed, fitness gear on but sluggish and no energy until that sizzle of the tablet hits the water and all of a sudden the world is bright and they’re ready for the day. As already mentioned, my flat are not morning people and all of our morning schedules differ from day to day, so instead of morning Berocca we have it at night before bed and each night I get a message in our group chat, as seen below, we all gather in the kitchen and cheers to the day had. Top tip: have bee rock at least an hour before you go to bed to let your body digest it and your bladder to fill, then pee before you sleep! I’m serious, you’ll need to.
4. Clear your brain
Nothing worse than thoughts about every bad thing that happened to you during the day keeping you up at night. Here I offer you what I like to call, 5 a day. We know the common saying ‘5 a day keeps the doctor away’ well it’s not just the body doctor we’re fighting off with a carrot stick but also the one who tells us all our problems stem from our parents.
At the end of your day, while the Berocca tablet is sizzling, write down five positive things that happened in your day. This is best done with friends too as it’s a fantastic way to hear about somebody’s day.
Other outcomes from this practice include (but are not limited to);
highlighting the good from your day
helping you remember what you did, even the little things like chats with a friend or the sun was shining
acts as a gratitude practice while not outwardly saying that’s what you’re doing, trick the brain to process your emotions!
I love this practice and have kept every post-it since we began doing this in August 2023, all slotted into a notebook. This is also good for people who want to journal but hate just writing about their day, no need to, it’s all there in five short bullet points.
5. Have something to do in the morning
This doesn’t have to happen every morning, give yourself a day where you can sleep in. But having something to do when you wake up that isn’t just getting ready for work can turn the morning into something to look forward to. I have ADHD so a lot of my things to get me out of bed include other people, nothing quite like the need to make people happy and body doubling. Things like a walk around the block, Sunday morning cartoons, or a coffee with someone or yourself can be all the motivation you need to get out of bed. Got a book you really want to read but can’t find the time? Read it over a breakfast smoothie. Have assignments stacked up that need attention? The library is surprisingly empty at 9am.
For me this is the hardest to wrap my head around, having other people who I share activities with has made keeping myself accountable in the morning much easier, but sometimes all I need is to lightly bully myself. “You promised last night’s version of you that you would be out of the house by 9:30 today” yes brain, I did that, and I can’t disappoint last night me, she packed my bag, I owe her.
Mornings are hard, I’m sorry, they just are. If you’re a morning person firstly why did you read this? Secondly, you’re a witch but we night owls thank you for your service. To all my night owls struggling to get up in the morning I believe in you, thank you for resetting the living space at the end of the day and turning out all the lights.
Mornings are like beer, nobody really likes it, but you can learn to live with it if you really feel the need to. And shit guys you can get a lot more done in the day if you’re out of bed by nine.
BEE ROCKS FOR THE LIVE LAUGH LOVE LIFE 🙏